


Behind the Scenes

by BastardEmpress



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Film Crew, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mild Smut, Multi, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-02-27 13:54:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastardEmpress/pseuds/BastardEmpress
Summary: In the fast paced world of Hollywood, everything was made out to be picture perfect. However, the glamor was all for show, as behind the scenes, everyone had their own dark secrets.





	1. Another Day, Another Set, Another Client

“This was a mistake, I shouldn’t have sent you there by yourself, not on your first day.”

Shaking your head, you pulled your keys from the ignition, balancing your phone on your shoulder as you began collecting the various bags you’d need for the day.

“Erwin, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo.”

“(Y/N), you don’t understand, this is Kenny’s set.”

“So?”

“So, the apocalypse could start the moment you step foot in that building and you wouldn’t be able to tell. It’s a fucking madhouse in there.”

“Erwin, I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I think you’re overreacting.”

“The fact that you just said that makes me extremely worried.”

You let out a long sigh, your eyes involuntarily rolling at the anxiety lacing his voice.

“Erwin, come on, you’ve got to stop. I need this job to pay rent and you recommended me for it. I know that you’re nervous. Hell, this is my first job in three months, I’m a bit nervous too. That doesn’t change the fact that I signed a contract, a legally binding piece of paper that requires me to go on set with or without you. If you really want to drive here on one of your few days off, I won’t stop you, but in approximately five seconds I am getting out of my car and going inside. I have a client waiting for me and I’m not going to screw this up.”

“Why will you never allow me to protect you?”

“Because I’m a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a bodyguard to do her job. Also, you aren’t trying to protect me, you’re being a control freak.”

“Am not!”

“Are so!”

“Just go inside!”

“You got it chief, want me to text you when I get out of my last set?”

“You know me so well.”

“Of course I do, I’m your best friend. Now, go work on your script.”

With that, you hung up the phone, dropping it into the center console of your car. No phone’s on set was a rule that while not technically in existence, was heavily suggested with any of Erwin’s projects. Though you knew he’d likely make an exception for you, the last thing you wanted on your first day was to ruin a scene because of a Gmail notification. Not really the best first impression.

Gathering the last of your things, you closed your eyes, taking a moment to savor the silence. Three months, that’s how long it'd been since you stepped foot in a studio. That fact seemed rather surreal, being that, before this small sabbatical, you never went more than a week without being booked. In the beginning, the lack of pesky clients had been nice. Therapeutic, even. However, you had soon become restless, the long days dragging on into longer nights. Everything had become dull, the world itself seeming to slow. Your lack of motivation making everything around you sluggish, a fact that had driven you to near insanity. You had jumped at the chance to take another job, especially one that would keep you close to Erwin. Though, said man had almost driven you off, his anxiety of you being back on set feeling contagious.

Now though, sitting in front of the studios owned by ‘Three Walls Productions’, despite your nerves, you felt an extreme rush of excitement. This was it; this was what you were born for. All you had to do was walk through that door, then you would be back in your element, back where you truly belonged.

Opening your eyes, you quickly got out of the car and made your way to the doors leading to studio three, not giving yourself any more time to chicken out and run home. Entering the building, you were immediately greeted by the sight of a hoard of people rushing in seemingly random directions. This set was rather lively, the sheer amount of people in the space making the large studio seem rather cramped. The sight of them all caused a small bubble of anxiety to stir within you. There was no way in hell you were going to find the person you were supposed to meet, at least, not without help.

Scanning the room, your eyes focused in on a short, lanky boy with a buzzcut who has attempting (and failing) to carry a large box of sound equipment. Shifting the bags on your shoulders, you put what you hoped was a pleasant smile on your face and walked in the boys direction, silently praying that he wouldn't sound some sort of alarm the moment he saw an unfamiliar face in the studio.  

“Excuse me,” You asked, causing the boy to stop and whip his head around, golden orbs locking onto your form. “Sorry to bother you, but it’s my first day on set and I’m not really sure where to go. Could you possibly point me in the direction of Miss Zoe?”

“You the new makeup artist?”

“How did you-“

“Hange’s a bit of a gossip. After Levi’s old one quit last night, she wouldn’t shut up about the fact that a new girl was coming in and, as far as I can tell, you're the only new girl here. You want me to grab her for you?”

“You really don’t have to; you look a little busy right now.”

“Nah, it’s chill. She’s hard to track down if you don’t know where to look, and I have to get help to carry all this shit anyways. Mind waiting here for a minute while I go find her?”

“Of course.” You nodded, sending him a soft smile. “Thank you for your help…”

“I’m Connie, and it’s not a problem. After all, we’re part of the same crew now, we gotta look out for each other.” He returned your smile before turning on his heel and scurrying off into the studio, leaving you alone again.

A few minutes later, Connie came back into view, two people following behind him. Upon seeing you, the brunette and sole woman in the group of three ran towards you, a loud squeal escaping her lips. Stopping just short of running directly into you, the woman stuck out her hand, enthusiastically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Hello there! I’m Hange Zoe, Levi’s manager. This nervous looking dope next to me is Moblit, my assistant. And you are?”

Reaching out a hand, you took hers, shaking it lightly. “I’m (Y/N) (L/N), the-“

“No need for the speech, I know who you are! Though, I will admit, I thought Connie had the wrong person for a second. You’re so pretty, I thought you might be an extra.”

“Oh, dear lord, no. I’m not the type of person you want in front of a camera.”

“What?! But you’re so pretty! It’s a shame to hide you behind the camera when you look like that!”

You blushed deeply, silently thanking whatever deity was out there that your foundation was as full coverage as it was advertised to be.

Seeming to sense your discomfort, Moblit took a step forward. “Miss Zoe, we really should get her to Levi, you know how Kenny gets when an actor is late.”

The brunette nodded, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Alas, work always spoils my fun. Come now, (Y/N), shorty’s waiting for you.” Turning on her heel, Hange began to move across the studio at a rapid pace.

You hurried after her, careful to keep her in sight as you weaved through the crowds of crew and cast members currently occupying the large studio. The place was hectic, every individual moving as fast as humanly possible, their minds focused on the tasks lying before them. Seeing such dedication would be intimidating to most, but to you, it was an energizer, the tenacity of those around you feeding into your excitement. Erwin definitely hadn’t been lying when he said this would be the craziest set you’d seen, but somehow, it wasn’t near as intimidating as you had thought it would be.

“So, (Y/N), when did they tell you about your reassignment to shorty?” Hange asked, her glasses glinting in the light as she turned her head to the side to glance at you.

“Oh, I wasn’t reassigned.”

“What? But they told me you were Levi’s main artist.”

“I am, I accepted the position last night. However, they couldn’t take me completely off SFX. Levi is my main priority; he’ll be the first one I see every day. However, I’m still the main SFX artist here. In any major special or practical effects scenes, I’ll be working with Mike and the rest of the cast.”

“Wow, you must be real damn good if they’re allowing you to do all that.”

You shrugged your shoulders, warmth pooling in your cheeks.

“I’m not terrible. I have enough experience to know what I’m doing, but I’m definitely not the best person out there.”

The brunette chuckled.

“No need to be modest here, I promise you that no one else will be.” Coming to a sudden halt, Hange placed her hand on the handle of a door. “This is Levi’s dressing room. It’s for his personal use only and it’ll never move, so this is where you’ll meet him. You ready to go inside?”

Inhaling deeply, you took a moment to compose yourself. This was nothing, just another day on another set with another client. Showing your nerves would do nothing but make the crew and cast doubt your abilities, which was something you couldn’t allow. He was just another actor. Nothing more, nothing less. Exhaling softly, you put a smile on your face, giving Hange a nod.

Not wasting a second, the brunette threw open the door and strode into the room with you following closely behind her.

“Guess who!” She called out in a sing-song voice.

“Fucking shitty glasses, stop being so damn loud. It’s six o’clock in the fucking morning, too damn early for a headache.”

“Hey, don’t be so vulgar this morning, it’ll make a bad first impression on our guest!” Hange scolded, a playful smirk on her face.

Taking her words as a cue to introduce yourself, you stepped out from behind Hange, a small smile on your face.

“Hello Mr. Ackerman, it’s very nice to meet you.”

The short man looked up from his phone, his artic eyes ghosting over your form before moving to land on Hange.

“Oi, shitty glasses, who the fuck is this?”

The brunette let out a giggle, obviously unperturbed by his cool demeanor.

“This pretty little lady is (Y/N) (L/N). She’s the main SFX specialist for the show and your new personal makeup artist!”

“What happened to the last one?” He asked, eyebrow raising at her words.

 “She quit last night, said something like ‘I just can’t deal with his attitude’ and ‘I didn’t sign up to be abused’, then she ran off.”

Levi rolled his eyes.

“Tch, that brat. I didn’t abuse her; she just didn’t know how to do her damn job.”

Hange let out a light sigh, shaking her head at her stubborn client.

“Of course she didn’t. Still, she quit, so now we have (Y/N)!” She turned to you, a bright smile crossing her face. “Well, I have to go find Moblit and make a few calls, so I’ll leave you two alone. Try not to let his attitude get to you. He may act like an ass, but once you get to know him, shorty is a total softie.” With that, Hange fled from the room, the door slamming behind her.

“Fucking four-eyes. Hey, brat, are you planning on standing there all day? I have to be on set in an hour.”

You took a deep breath, attempting to calm the nerves that had flared back up the moment Hange ran out of the room. You began chanting your mantra in your head, the words giving you a small amount of comfort. He was just another client, and this was just another job. He may be eternally angry, but that wasn’t anything new to you. All you had to do was work your magic. Taking a step forward you placed your bag on the table and began to pull out your supplies.

“I don’t know the system that your previous artists used, but mine is very simple. I’ve purchased a new set of tools and products especially for use on you. You can trust that they have not been used before and will not be used on anyone else. Your character is pretty basic, so I won’t be using many products when it comes to non-SFX makeup. Just some primer, light foundation, setting powder, clear mascara and eyeliner. SFX will be a bit more extensive, but I’ll explain that when the time comes. All the products I will be using are good for sensitive skin, so you shouldn’t have to worry about breaking out. However, I will be sending you home with some makeup wipes and a face wash just to be safe. Though my hands will always be clean, as I wash them religiously and you will always be my first client of the day, I’ll be wearing latex free gloves whenever I’m applying the products. If you have any other questions or requests, please feel free to let me know.”

“Are you always this…thorough?” Levi stared at you, those artic pools boring into you as you placed everything you would need on the table.

“I’ve been in the game long enough that being through is natural. However, I’m taking extra precautions when it comes to you.”

“Why?”

“You’re Levi Ackerman.” You turned to him, placing a hand on your hip.

“And? The fuck does that have to do with anything?” He snorted, rolling his eyes at your comment.

“I’ve heard from a rather reputable source that you are quite…”

“Difficult? Abusive? Bitchy?”

“While all of those words were used, I prefer to refer to you as particular. Not that you don’t have the right to be. You’re a veteran actor with multiple awards under your belt, as well as a major germaphobe. As your makeup artist, it’s my responsibility to cater to your needs while getting the job done quickly and efficiently. If that means becoming a bit more persnickety about certain things, I’m happy to do so.” Turning away from him for a moment, you pulled two gloves out of the freshly opened package and put them on. “Now, mind if I go ahead and get started?”

He gave you a small nod, which made your smile widen. Maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as you had originally thought. You quickly grabbed the primer and a large, flat foundation brush. Pumping some of the product onto the bristles, you placed the bottle back on the table and moved towards him. You took a moment to look over his face. He truly was breathtaking. Chiseled cheeks and a well angled nose, deep set eyes, a flawless complexion. So many people would kill to be this attractive, it was almost unfair how naturally beautiful he was. 

“This product has a firming effect, so don’t worry if there’s a tingling sensation when I put it on, it’ll go away after a minute or so. However, if it starts to burn, let me know immediately.”

“Will I be able to tell the difference?”

“Tingling doesn’t hurt, burning will make you want to scratch off a few layers of skin. Trust me, you’ll know.”

You put the brush on his skin, slowly dragging the product across his face, evening it out as you went, admiring the way the small gold-flecks embedded in the clear primer seemed to melt into his flesh. You worked in silence, focusing completely on covering his face and a small part of his neck. Normally you were a bit chattier, conversation helping to keep the situation from becoming awkward. However, Levi struck you as an individual who preferred to avoid small talk. Finally finishing the primer application, you turned back to the table, placing the brush off too the side and collecting the foundation and brush.

“So, how long have you been doing this?”

You jumped a bit, startled at the sudden sound of his voice.

“Oh! Um, I’ve only been working on big sets like this for five years. However, I’ve been in the game for more than fifteen. I worked at a Sephora counter in high school and freelanced my way through college.”

He hummed in response, closing his eyes as you began to smooth the foundation over his face.

“You don’t look like you’re that old.”

“Well, I am a makeup artist.” You let out a small laugh, a hint of mirth in your words.

“This shit isn’t a time machine.”

“That depends on how much you put on and how you apply it. For someone like you, it isn’t. Luckily, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“You’ve got some sass, brat.” He replied, his lips twitching upwards at your response.

“I’ve spent the majority of my life caking the faces of entitled assholes, it’s a reasonable skill to have. Makes people less likely to walk all over me.”

“It makes you entertaining.”

“Oh my goodness, did the world-renowned Levi Ackerman just complimented me?” You gasped dramatically, your unoccupied hand flying to rest over your heart.

“Tch, shitty brat.”

Shaking your head, you placed the foundation brush back on the table, quickly grabbing the powder.

“I’d recommend holding your breath during this part. This stuff may not hurt your skin, but it’s going to burn like a bitch if it gets in your lungs.”

He grunted, shaking his head at your words, but followed your advice, sucking in a deep breath of air. You powdered his face and neck quickly, setting the makeup in record time. Turning away from him, you grabbed the eyeliner.

“So, who’s your source?”

“Pardon?” You turned back towards him, raising an eyebrow.

“You said that you had a ‘reputable source’ who told you I was difficult. Who is it?”

 “I said you were particular, not difficult, and I’m honestly surprised you don’t know who my source is. I worked with them so much, I thought they would have mentioned me.” You motioned for him to close his eyes, dipping the brush into the gel.

“They?” He complied with your request, closing his eyes, one of his eyebrows cocked upwards in a questioning motion.

“Isabel and Furlan. When I first started working with this studio, they put me to work on a lot of music videos. ‘The Underground’ was one of the first groups I worked with and they took a bit of a liking to me, I was their official makeup artist for the entirety of their album ‘No Regrets’.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yep. I loved working with them. It was hard to get Isabel to sit still, but she let me have creative freedom, and Furlan was a perfect client. They wanted me to go on tour with them, but I wasn’t able to make the time commitment.” Leaning back, you checked over your work, making sure both sides were even. “I haven’t had the chance to work with them in a while, but it wasn’t hard to remember everything they said. If the camera wasn’t on, Isabel was rambling, and you just so happened to be one of her favorite topics of conversation.”

“She’s a fucking chatterbox. Once she starts talking about something, there’s no way to get her to shut up.” Levi sighed out, opening his eyes.

You shrugged in response, setting down the eyeliner and grabbing the mascara.

“I don’t mind. Talkative clients aren’t bad, especially when they’re like Isabel. I spend all day getting up close and personal with people, learning things about them makes it less invasive.”

“You find your job invasive?”

“Of course. Only a person with no social awareness would think that a job that involves constant physical contact and a rather intense amount of bubble breaching to be non-invasive.” Opening the mascara, you turned to him. “Go ahead and look at the floor. Don’t worry about blinking or anything like that, just let me know if your eyes start getting dry or sensitive.”

He complied, allowing you to swipe the clear fluid through his thick, dark lashes. You finished quickly, being that he didn’t really need much. Replacing the applicator in the tube, you smiled at him.

“Alright, that should be good. Go ahead and look it over, let me know if you think anything needs to be changed or touched up.”

He turned to the mirror, his eyes narrowing as he scrutinized your work. After a moment, he nodded.

“Not bad.”

It was a simple phrase, but knowing his reputation, those two words made you want to jump and squeal like some anime school girl. You hadn’t known him for long, but from all the information you had gathered, for him at least, this was high praise. Bowing your head slightly, you turned back to the table gathering up your supplies.

“I’m glad I was able to be of assistance.”

“Are you staying on set today?” He stood from the chair, turning towards you.

You shook your head, quickly packing everything into your bag and pulling off the gloves, throwing them into the small trashcan next to the table.

“Unfortunately, I can’t. I’m booked for another show over in studio eight. Normally I’ll be here for touchups or to help the other actors, but I’ve had this booking for a month, so they have dibs. And before you ask, yes, I did try to cancel. However, their other SFX artist is out sick, so they really need me over there.” You quickly checked over your things, making sure nothing was left behind before turning back to face him.

“Well, I’m going to head out. I’ll give Hange the products I mentioned to you earlier on my way out, so she’ll be able to give them to you before you leave. Though, I’d recommend reminding her. She seems a bit scatterbrained and Moblit looks like he’s about ready to pass out, so I doubt he’ll remember. I doubt you’ll need any touchups during the day, but if you do, ask for Marco. He’s not the best when it comes to initial application, but he’s fine with minor touchups and the cleanliest out of all the artists currently working on set. Have Hange text me if you have a reaction to one of the products or you need me to change anything before tomorrow. I’ll see you around, Levi.” You shot him one last smile before you turned and exited the room, the door softly clicking shut behind you.


	2. Curious

Shutting and locking the door of his apartment, Levi let out a long groan. Filming had been slightly more irritating than it normally was. Eren and Jean had been at each other’s throats for the first six hours of filming, only stopping when Mikasa physically removed Eren from set and had a talk with him. Petra had the flu, meaning that shooting had to pause around once every forty-five minutes so she didn’t vomit all over the set. Kenny had decided to switch up some of the scenes they were supposed to be filming today, leaving Levi, Eren, Petra and the extras scrambling to try and memorize lines that weren’t supposed to be due until the beginning of the next week. On top of that, Mike had been out for a meeting with the producers, leaving the hardworking but inexperienced Nanaba in charge of the practical effects, which had resulted in several ruined takes.

Needless to say, the day had been rather hellish, leaving the ravanette to want nothing more than a nightcap of scotch and the silence of his apartment. The nightcap was easy to obtain, requiring only the minor physical effort that it took to walk into the kitchen, obtain the alcohol and a glass, and pour himself a generous portion. However, the universe seemed to want to make the day difficult, as right as he was about to settle down on the couch, his phone lit up, Isabel’s ringtone blaring loudly through the large living room area.

Seeing the picture of his ginger friend caused Levi to mutter out an intense string of profanities. This put him in an extreme dilemma. On one hand, he could just ignore the call. It wouldn’t exactly be difficult to turn off his phone and pretend that nothing had happened. Unfortunately, Isabel was persistent to a maddening degree. If he didn’t pick up, she would call again or, being that she was in town, she would just come over.

Letting out a defeated sigh, he picked up his phone, swiping the screen and putting the device to his ear.

“What do you want?”

“Levi! Why do you always sound so angry when you answer my calls?”

“Maybe it’s because you always call me after I’ve had a shitty day.”

“Filming was bad? I’m sorry bro. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Levi rolled his eyes. “No. Now, you haven’t answered my question. Why are you calling me?”

“Do I really need a reason to call my favorite grumpy Oscar-Nominee?”

“You do when it’s midnight.”

A loud groan sounded from her end of the line.

“Levi, you’re so mean! Is it really that bad that I just want to talk to you? We haven’t seen each other in forever and, with Furlan and I starting on the new album and you becoming a regular on the show, we probably won’t be able to talk much. I miss you.”

“You’re working on a new album?”

“Yep! ‘Wings of Freedom’ is raising in the charts really quickly and our label wants us to take advantage of the publicity. The album isn’t even close to done, but we’re working super hard on it. We have a new single, ‘Reform’, coming out in a couple weeks. We start filming the music video tomorrow. But enough about me, what’s going on with you? Anything interesting happen on set?”

Levi clicked his tongue, taking a sip of his scotch.

“Just the usual bullshit. Kenny is being an unpredictable fucker. It’s gotten to the point where nobody knows what the actual fuck is happening. It’s a good thing the man in a genius, because it’s fucking impossible to work with him. Eren is still a brat, though, he’s been slightly less annoying than usual. Unless that horse is involved, then I want to kill him. Petra is sick, again. I swear, her damn boyfriend is pestilence incarnated. Erwin is about to hit a breaking point. Which is understandable, since Pixis is always showing up to set wasted and Zackly is constantly picking fights with the higher-ups. Honestly, they’re all great producers, but if even one thing is off, they fall to pieces. Oh, and my makeup artist quit-”

“Really bro?! This is the third one you’ve gone through on this set! What did you do to her?”

“Why do you always assume it’s my fault? She was a shitty brat who didn’t know how to do her fucking job. She couldn’t handle the pressure of working with a professional, so she quit.”

“Whatever you say bro. Let’s just hope that the new one is able to handle you.”

“Actually, the new one isn’t bad, no thanks to you.”

“Wait, what do you mean? How did I help?”

“The new girl is someone you’ve worked with before. Apparently, you told her some things about me and she took them to heart.”

“I’ve worked with her before?! That’s so cool! When did I work with her? Who is she?”

“According to her, she was your makeup artist for the entirety of ‘No Regrets’. I think she said her name was (Y/N) (L/N).”

A sharp gasp crackled through the line, followed by an excited shout. “Oh my God, you met (Y/N)!?”

Levi groaned, pulling the phone away from his ear. Damn Isabel and her high-pitched voice. “Don’t fucking yell, brat. Your voice is annoying enough as it is. Yes, I met her, and I’ll be meeting her again, being that she’s my new personal artist and the head SFX artist for the show.”

Isabel squealed in excitement. “You’re so lucky big bro! (Y/N) is the best makeup artist ever!”

“Like I said, she’s not bad.”

“Don’t be an ass! Wait, you were nice to her, right? Please tell me you didn't make her cry on her first day.”

Levi rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his drink. “Yes, I was nice to her, I’m nice to all of them.”

“That’s a lie and we both know it.”

“Tch, I didn’t answer this call to be insulted. Though, since I did answer, I have a question. Why didn’t you ever tell me about her? She worked with you for months, you asked her to go on tour, she must have been pretty important to you and Furlan. Why didn’t you ever mention her?”

Isabel let out a small sigh, her tone shifting to a lower pitch. “We didn’t have much time too talk to you during that album, we were all so busy, and by the time we could talk, she was out of our lives.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Neither Furlan or I have talked to (Y/N) in almost a year. Hell, from what I've heard, no one has seen her for about three months. She kind of dropped off the map after we went on tour. Everyone thought she quit or moved.”

“Any idea why?”

“I don’t really know specifics; she was always pretty quiet about her personal life. All I remember is that she and her boyfriend were having some major issues at the time, and I only know that because he came to our set one time and tried to start a screaming match with her. I only saw him that one time, be he seemed like a real asshole. She never actually said it out loud, but I’m pretty sure he’s the reason that she couldn’t go on tour with us. ”

“Do you know his name?”

“Nope, like I said, she’s super secretive when it comes to personal stuff.” The line was quiet for a minute before Isabel’s voice came back, her sad tone replaced with a teasing one. “Why do you want to know so much about her? Does big bro have a crush on my lovely (Y/N)?”

Levi downed his drink, sinking down into his couch. “I’m a grown fucking man. I don’t have crushes. I’m way to busy to worry about something stupid like that. I’m just curious.”

“Curious?”

“She’s…interesting.”

Isabel let out a loud bark of laughter, the sound heightening the level of static on the line. “Interesting? Oh my God, you’re in love with her!”

“No, I’m not.”

"But you are!"

"I've only known her for a day, it isn't possible for me to be in love with her."

"Love at first sight is a thing! And you called her interesting!"

"So?"

“Big bro, you don’t find anything ‘interesting’. Just admit it, you think she’s pretty and you want to date her.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I’m hanging up now.” Ignoring her indignant cries, Levi pressed the red button on his screen, ending the call.

Throwing his phone down on the coffee table, Levi let out a sigh. The lights from the television flashed through the room, the speakers sending out deafening waves of sound. However, as much as he tried, Levi couldn’t focus, his mind too drawn to thoughts of the woman who’s name he couldn’t get out of his head. Closing his eyes, he tipped his head back, letting out a long sigh.

“(Y/N) (L/N), who are you and what have you done to me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter than the last one! Originally this chapter was supposed to be the second part of chapter one, but it was way too long and I truly detest switching perspectives in the middle of a chapter, so here we are. Look forward to more of the reader and Erwin in the next chapter!


	3. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be warned that there is implied physical abuse, emotional and verbal abuse and panic attacks in this chapter. Please read at your own digression.  
> There is also a pug. A fat pug named 'titan'.

_He was screaming, but all you could hear was a soft ringing, the echo of it reverberating throughout your head. You were sure you should be in pain, but you couldn’t feel it. For the first time in your life, you were numb. Your body felt heavy, as if you were made of marble. Each breath was an effort, the weight of your ribcage crushing your lungs each time you tried to inhale._

_“You stupid bitch! You…You did this on purpose!”_

_You were crying, the salty tears blurring your vision. The sobs had stopped long ago, leaving you utterly silent, the only sign of your tears being the hot tracks burning your skin._

_“I never wanted to hurt you! You made me do this, this is all your fucking fault!”_

_You wanted to speak, to calm him down, to reassure him that you were okay. You opened your mouth only to shut it quickly, pain burning through your face as a fresh gush of blood ran through your fingers. Your eyes widening, you pulled your hand from your cheek, your mind breaking at the sight of it. Your skin was stained crimson, the sticky liquid dripping down your arm to puddle on the floor below._

_“Why did you do this to me?”_

_The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You were bleeding. You were bleeding because of him. He had hurt you._

_“All I ever did was love you, cherish you. I gave you everything, and this is how you repay me!”_

_A surge of fear rushed through you. He had hurt you, badly. He had done the one thing he promised he would never do._

_“You are the reason I’m like this, the reason I’m broken.”_

_Your brain was screaming at you to move, but you were frozen. Fight or flight should have kicked in, but you were simply paralyzed._

_“I should leave you, dump you on the street to be picked up by the trash. It’s what you deserve…”_

_Your throat was burning, a scream of pain and anguish threatening to rip your vocal cords to shreds._

_“You are the reason my life is falling apart.”_

_‘Why can’t I run? Why is he doing this to me?’_

_“You’re going to pay for all of this.”_

_‘Please, stop. Please God, just make this stop.’_

_He began walking towards you, his face twisted in anger. Raising his hand, the shard of glass glinting in the lights. He swung his arm down, a malicious glint in those eyes you had once loved. He wasn’t finished, not yet. Not until you were dead._

~

A shrill scream escaped your lips, your eyes flying open in fear. Darkness shrouded your small room, enveloping you in it’s murky depth, a chill seeping into your bones. It was the third nightmare this month. Though, this one was the worst by far.

Reaching your hand up, you shakily traced the scar on your cheek, a gasp escaping your lips as the memories of that night flooded back to you. Instantly, your shaking worsened, tears springing to your eyes. You knew what was coming, the hellish storm of emotions inside you growing stronger every second.

Unable to sit up, you threw your arm towards the night table, desperately searching for your phone. The moment your hand located the small device, you latched onto it, pulling it towards your face. The bright light of the screen burned your corneas, but at this moment, that was the last of your worries.

It took three tries to unlock the phone, two too get into your contacts, five to dial the right number. The phone rang once, twice, three times before her answered, deep, rough voice ringing out through the receiver.

“It’s one in the morning, this better be important.”

“E-Erwin…” You took a deep breath, fighting back another wave of tears.

“Shit, (Y/N), I didn’t know is was you. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” A rustle of sheets sounded through the phone as he spoke again, this time much more awake.

“N-Nightmare, I h-had a nightmare.”

“Oh, my lovely, I’m so sorry. I’m heading over there right now.”

“N-No!” You sat up in bed, your breath hitching in your throat.

“No?” The noises from the other end of the line stilled.

“Y-You have work tomorrow, you need sleep.” You shook your head wildly, small strands of hair sticking to your sweat dampened forehead.

“(Y/N), I’m a screenwriter who sometimes attempts to be a producer, I run my own schedule. This project isn’t due for another month, I have plenty of time to sleep and work. Come on, I know you need a hug and I’m not going to be able to sleep knowing you’re upset.”

“Erwin, I-“

“Please. I’m already awake and dressed, it’ll take me five minutes to walk over. You promised you weren’t going to go through this alone anymore. You may never agree to let me protect you, but you could at least let me help...”

You bit your bottom lip, fresh tears falling from your eyes. You hated that you needed to use him like this. Erwin was your friend, the closest friend you had. You cared about him more than anything and using him like this…It made you sick. You wanted nothing more than to be able to reassure him that you were fine, that you didn’t need to lean on him. But, as usual, he was right. At this moment, you needed someone you could trust, someone you could touch, someone who made you feel safe.

“Please hurry, I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I’ll be over in five minutes. I have my key, so don’t worry about getting up. Just breath, lovely, I’ll be with you soon.” The shuffling from the other side of the line resumed, followed the sound of a door shutting.

You hit the end call button and dropped the phone on the bed, burying your head in your hands to muffle your sobs. A clacking of metal rang through the room as Titan ran in, a whine echoing from his throat as he pawed at your bedframe, asking to be let up. You opened your fingers a bit, looking down at the chubby little pug, who proceeded to cock his head to the side and let out another high-pitched whine. Letting out a shaky sigh, you moved your hands, leaning down and grabbing him, pulling the poor boy into a bone crushing hug. Your tears soaked his fur as he wriggled around in your grasp, turning his head to lick your face comfortingly. It was mildly gross, and you were sure you’d smell like dog kibble later, but at that moment, any sort of comfort meant the difference between breaking down and keeping your sanity. Even the kind that came from a chubby pug with bad breath.

It was like that for a while, just you clutching the struggling pug, slowly dehydrating yourself as more and more tears flowed from your eyes. It seemed like an eternity later when the lock of your front door clicked open, soft footfalls indicating someone was entering your home.

“(Y/N), I’m here.”

You answered with a loud sob, causing the footsteps to quicken. In seconds, the blonde man stood in your doorway, his eyes softening as he took in your state. He quickly made his way over to the bed, gently prying the dog from your grasp and setting him back on the floor before wrapping you in a tight embrace. You reciprocated the gesture in full, burying your head in his chest, forcing yourself to focus on the sound of his heartbeat.

“I’m so sorry, my lovely. I wish I would have been here. I left you alone for so long.”

“N-Not your fault.” You shook your head, turning your face up to look at him.

“Do you want to talk about it? Or do you just want to sleep?” He ran one of his hands through your hair as he leaned down, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“No time to sleep, I-I have work soon.”

“Lovely, it’s only one thirty in the morning.”

“I have to be on set at four.”

“What?! But filming isn’t supposed to start until seven!”

“I got an email from Kenny’s assistant last night. Apparently, he switched the scenes being filmed tomorrow from dialogue to action, meaning I need to be their early to do SFX on the cast and help set up the practical effects.”

“Fucking Kenny…Can’t they just use Marco? He trained under you, he knows the basics.”

“That’s the problem, this is way more than just a few basic cuts and scrapes. Kenny wants some super detailed shit done on Levi and Eren. We’re talking super gnarly and realistic looking gashes all over their torsos and face. Even with my experience, it’ll be a miracle if I get it all done by the time he wants to shoot, especially when he didn’t give me enough notice to prepare prosthetics. It has to be me.”

“Ugh, I wish you could call out. I haven’t seen you in so long, I just want to hold you for a bit, spend the day doing something fun. Anything to take your mind off this shit.” His words came out as a groan, his grip on you tightening.

“Erwin, work takes my mind off everything.” You couldn’t help but smile, the sight of the 6’2” man pouting like a toddler being too adorable.

“But I can’t see you when you’re at work.”

“You’re a producer. You can come to the set and see me literally any time you want.”

“Okay, I can’t cuddle the living shit out of you when you’re at work.”

“I swear, you act all big and tough, but you’re just a giant teddy bear.” You giggled, burrowing into his chest.

“Correction, I am your giant teddy bear.” He leaned down, placing his forehead against the top of your head. “Feeling any better?”

“You always make me feel better.” You nodded slowly, closing your eyes, relishing in the affection he was giving you.

“I do my best.”

“I’m serious, Erwin. If I didn’t have you, I don’t think I’d have the strength to deal with all of this. Hell, if it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if I would have made it out in one piece.”

“Don’t say that. It doesn’t matter now. You’re out, you’re safe. I have you and I’m never going to let you go through anything like that again.” His voice was gruff with emotion, his body tensing at your words.

“Erwin, there’s always a chance he-“

“Stop it, (Y/N). Don’t start with that shit, not right now. I haven’t seen you in two weeks, can we just enjoy a little bit of time together without mentioning that?”

You flinched as his voice raised, his tone drawing out one of the many involuntary reactions you hated.

He softened, a long sigh escaping his lips.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled. Shit, I come over here to try and help and I just end up making everything worse.”

“You know that’s bullshit. You’re my rock, you always have been. I’m just overly fragile right now.” You began to lightly draw circles over his chest, the sound of his heartbeat grounding you again.

“After everything you’ve been through, you have right to be fragile.” He reached up and cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing lightly over the jagged red line on your soft skin. “Does it still hurt?”

“It used to; I could always feel it. It’s gotten better over the past month though. I only really feel any pain when I cover it for too long.”

He gritted his teeth, his eyebrows knitting together. “I still don’t understand why you’re so concerned about covering it up. Wearing that much makeup can’t be good for your skin, especially when it’s still trying to heal.”

“Erwin, if I don’t cover it, people will ask questions.”

“So what?! Why are you so concerned with protecting him?! After everything you’ve gone through, what he put you through, he…He doesn’t deserve your silence.”

Breaking out of his embrace, you scooted back on the bed a bit. Reaching forwards, you grabbed his face, forcing him to meet your gaze.

“Erwin, I understand that after everything that happened, everything he did, I should hate him. I know this, better than anyone. But I can’t, not yet. He was a huge part of my life for ten years. The person that I loved and trusted most in this world. He’s done terrible things, things that I can and will not ever forgive him for. I will never make excuses for him, nor will I attempt to defend him. However, I don’t want to ruin his life, especially when he’s doing a damn good job of that by himself. I don’t expect you to understand or agree with any of my choices, I only ask that you respect the fact that, at least for the moment, I can’t put him through any more pain.”

“I…” He hesitated, gritting his teeth, internal struggle obvious. Finally, he let out a long sigh. “I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but I will respect it. Just know that, the moment you feel ready, I’m making sure his ass ends up in a cell.”

“Erwin, he’s your best friend.”

“No. He was once my best friend, now he’s a monster. A monster who damn near took away one of the few people in this world I actually give a shit about. He’s dead to me and, if he ever tries to come near you again, he’ll wish he was actually dead.”

That comment sent the room into a stint of silence, the air hanging thick with words unsaid and tears unshed. You knew Erwin wasn’t kidding, he never did, especially when it came to you. That night, the night you had run away with only what you could fit in a duffle bag, it had taken everything in your power to stop Erwin from hunting down the man he had once called his brother and returning the pain he had caused you in full. You could see his face clearly, those sky blue eyes roaring with rage and terror. You could still hear the shake in his voice when he had said your name, his skin pale at the sight of your broken form.

“Come into work with me tomorrow. I know it won’t be the same as us hanging out here, but I…I need you right now, and I have the feeling that you need me too.”

“Am I allowed to hug you?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Erwin, it’s my second day on set. I need to prove myself, not make people think I got the job because I’m sleeping with one of the producers.”

“Damn it woman, a hug does not equal fucking. Just accept my affection. Let. Me. Love. You.”

“My God, you are a child. Seriously though, does anyone know that we know each other outside of work?”

“As far as I know, only Mike. But Hange has a weird way of finding out random shit about her coworkers’ personal lives. If she knows, everyone knows.”

You let out a loud groan, the idea of everyone connecting your friendship with Erwin and your position leaving you bubbling with anxiety.

“Hey, don’t stress yourself about it. I’m sure she hasn’t figured it out yet, and you know Mike, he won’t tell anyone.”

“He better not. I worked my ass off to get to where I am in my career. This job is a big deal for me, I don’t need any shitty rumors to ruin it.”

“Look at me for a second, lovely.” He lifted your head, those eyes you had come to love so much staring warmly into yours. “You are an amazing individual with kick ass skills. I asked you to take this job because you are the only person I know who can handle it. If you’re really that concerned about people starting rumors, I’ll keep my hands to myself. But trust me when I say that anyone who doubts your abilities is a moron.”

“God damn softy, you’re gonna make me cry again. Just stop talking and enjoy the time until we have to go.” You grumbled out, hiding your blush in the fabric of his shirt.

“Nothing would make me happier.”

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you to each and every person who took the time to click on this book. This is my first attempt at a full length story and, if I'm being honest, I'm super nervous about posting this. However, I really wanted to take the chance, so I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> I am going to ask that you all mind the tags and the authors notes in this book. While this story will not be incredibly dark or smutty, there are some triggering topics that will be mentioned. The last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable or upset, so, if you feel the need to skip a chapter, please do so. Your mental health is much more important than my crappy writing. 
> 
> A quick disclaimer here before we get into things. I do not work on a film set, nor have I ever been a professional makeup artist. I am rather close with people who have worked in these positions, so I am using information they have given me as my basis for the way certain things in this story will work. 
> 
> I love to hear from my readers so, if you want to comment, I would greatly appreciate it! If not, please just enjoy the story!


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